Things it's taken me 40 years to learn

• How to use a solid fuel stove, without relighting it every day.


• I am not a car mechanic.


• My mother will never change.


• Some other people do and can change, but not all that much.


• Being supremely tolerant is not always the best strategy.


• Moderation.


• My body is too fertile to ever have sex again.


• Men do not, by and large, want children. Until they've got them (sometimes), which either therefore never happens, or is often too late.


• Even if they deny the above, it's still true.


• Other people can do the washing-up.


• Yes, I really do need to keep the place tidy, at least sometimes, and am not ashamed to admit it.


• I can no longer stay slim and live on mince pies. With brandy butter.


• Sometimes people are friendly for the wrong reasons and actually, those people aren't usually worth keeping as friends.

Things I learned more quickly than that:

• Money can't buy you love, or much else except stuff that all needs tidying up.


• It doesn't matter who does the work, as long as it gets done.


• Antidepressants, antibiotics, contraceptives and other Smarties-from-doctors-that-make-drug-companies-rich, are not for me thank you very much.


• Homeopathy works, but some people will never be convinced of that fact.


• Health and happiness go hand in hand.


• Sleep is good.


• Some friendships last forever.


• Time and freedom are worth more than money.


• Debt is bad.


• Children are the most valuable asset a person could have, but only if you commit to them instead of your career/social life/travel plans/religion, etc.


• World of Warcraft is addictive. (I broke the habit 2 years ago.)


• When my middle daughter tells me it's time to stop blogging and get ready to go out, she's usually right.